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Hidden tears

Salam 'alaik..

After such a long disappearance(eceeeh), I am feeling like speaking of someone whom I believe very important, even sometime we might forgot or accidentally ignored that someone importance.I'm sure you can guess easily who is it.

First of all alhamdulillah,because I'm still be given the chance to be or feeling his love and cares in this world.To be honest, I once felt that he's a cool and almost feeling-less person.Maybe because most matters like schooling during that time was settled by my mom(as I can see it myself without knowing the backstage) and I'm the opposite gender.Until I finished my PMR and get the result, this idea totally change(but i think the 'cool' still there..;p) and it keep stronger as i grow up.

I never know how he feels for any of my achievement until that night(the night after taking my result) when he gave his speech(kebetulan ada majlis farewell for him) and expressed his feeling about me in front of all.and that was really(i really mean it)my first time I saw his inner feeling through his face and tears that he hid.Then I realise that all this while,he's sensitive but he's just not showing it.

As I grew older,I realize that I can see the care he shows more than before especially when my sister got married and I think i can guess what he felt during that time.Then comes few articles that discuss about him indirectly and stroke my heart like don't-know-what-to-say except "Allah!".They make me wanting to understand more about him.

Yes,all above is about someone called father whom we always see his role with one eye only(read:pandang sebelah mata).Someone who try very hard to ensure all our needs are fulfilled.It doesn't mean he ignore us just because he doesn't want to help us getting what we want,but he just want us to be independent so we can survive if anything happen.It doesn't mean he didn't think of us just because he never call or ask how we doing,but he always ask our mother to do it for him(and it's really true!).It doesn't mean he's feeling-less just because he didn't hug you or cry happily when you excel in anything,but deep inside his heart only Allah knows how proud he is.It doesn't mean he's not sad when letting his daughter to the hand of a man, just because we couldn't detect his expression,but we didn't know the list of advices he has given to his son-in-law.

Maybe we couldn't understand hundred percent how a father feel but at least we can try to understand him.For Mars out there,maybe some day you will be in the place of a father, but for me I wouldn't feel how a father would feel.But whatever differences we have,it teaches us more on how to tolerate and understand.



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